Selfish Spirituality

When Church Becomes About Me: A Heart Check

This one is for the well-churched—those of us who’ve grown up in pews, served faithfully, and know the rhythms of Sunday mornings like clockwork. And it’s for the overwhelmed—those trying to stay connected to faith while navigating the chaos of parenting, careers, and life in general.

No matter your background or how long you’ve been attending church, you’ve probably had these thoughts at one point or another:

• “I know someone who really needs this message, but it doesn’t apply to me.”

• “These songs just aren’t doing it for me today. I wish we’d sing something else.”

• “It’s been a long time since I’ve really gotten anything out of church. Honestly, I’m tired of this.”

Let’s be honest—we’ve all been there. It’s easy to slip into this mindset during dry seasons of faith. But while it’s okay to admit these struggles, the danger is in allowing ourselves to stay there.

Here’s a simple challenge: go back and count how many times the word “I” shows up in those statements. Convicting, isn’t it?

When our thoughts start to revolve around us—our feelings, our preferences, our opinions—we’ve subtly shifted the focus away from God. Church becomes less about worship and more about consumption.

But worship isn't meant to satisfy our preferences; it’s meant to honor God.

And God? He doesn’t care if the songs are your favorite or if the lights are too bright. He cares if you’re singing truth from the heart. He’s looking for worship, not performance. Surrender, not satisfaction.

The Commitment We Made

When we become members of a local body of believers, we’re not just agreeing to a schedule—we’re joining a spiritual family. We’re saying, “I believe in this mission, this message, this community.” That comes with a commitment to gather, serve, and grow—even when it’s not convenient or comfortable.

“So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”

(James 4:17, ESV)

Showing up, engaging in worship, staying faithful to community—these aren’t just suggestions. They’re part of our spiritual responsibility. Yet far too often, we let the busyness of life interfere—whether it’s a sports practice, a work meeting, or a school event. The truth is, we don’t always carry the fear of God as we should when we allow worldly obligations to take priority over gathering with His people. But Scripture reminds us:

“Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

(Hebrews 10:25, ESV)

We should be asking ourselves regularly: “When I stand before God and give an account of this moment and this decision, will He be pleased with my answer—or not?”

“So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.”

(Romans 14:12, ESV)

When we keep that eternal perspective in view, our priorities begin to shift. Church becomes less about convenience and more about obedience.

A Subtle Idolatry

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: when we walk into church with the mindset of “What can I get out of this?”, we risk making worship about ourselves. And when the sermon doesn’t hit home or the music feels flat, we walk away irritable, bored, or disinterested.

That’s not just a bad attitude—it’s a spiritually dangerous one.

Because it puts us at the center of what was never about us in the first place.

This is where a subtle form of idolatry creeps in. When we elevate our preferences above God’s presence, we begin to worship comfort instead of Christ.

A Better Question

So maybe it’s time to ask a better question.

Not, “What am I getting out of this?”

But rather, “What am I bringing to this?”

Am I bringing a heart ready to hear from God?

Am I offering up honest worship, even when I don’t feel like it?

Am I serving with love, even if no one notices?

When church stops being about me, it finally starts being about Him.

And that’s where revival begins—not in the perfect sermon or setlist, but in a heart postured toward Jesus.

Where do you find yourself today?

Have you slipped into a consumer mindset, or are you still showing up with a servant’s heart?

Let this be your heart check.

Because church isn’t about what we get—it’s about the God we glorify.